The best time of the year is
here. Fights and beer on Saturday, fights and football and food and more beer on
Sunday. Oh yes. You ready to die ? Let's get down.
Onward To Golgotha
Holy shit did Faber look like a savage in 2013. The mauling he put on Mayday still has me erect. Did the broken rib really hinder him in the first Barao fight ? Uhhh...yeah probably dude. Shit. If I had a broken rib I probably couldn't even eat rolled tacos. But he lasted 25 minutes against another savage. I'm hoping everything comes together for Faber and he can pull off the mammoth update by choking the crooked toothed gremlin Barao. Holy shit we're less then 24 hours from the fight. Oh yes. Faber by cornrows.
Lamas has no chance but he has a nice haircut. That won't save him against Aldoraptor though. Did you see him at the weigh ins ? Fuckin'...looked like a mini Brazilian Overeem n shit. That plays soccer. And has good cardio. So in otherwords, NOT a Brazilian Overeem. Whatever. I'm buzzed and craving rolled tacos because someone mentioned em. I think it was me. Anyways, Aldoraptor by headkick 1st round.
Oh speaking of Overeem, he's getting the most favorable match up possible. Who has a terrible chin ? Frank Mir. Who sucks at using steroids ? Frank Mir. Who has a terrible haircut ? Frank Mir. Actually you could include Overeem in all those questions too though...fuck. Frank Mir IS Overeem ? Overeem IS Frank Mir ? Mind = blown. FRANK MIR DEFEATS FRANK MIR...I MEAN OVEREEM DEFEATS OVEREEM BY....FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK WHO KNOWS EVERYONE IS EVERYONE WE ALL LOSE SHIT.
John Lineker almost missed weight for like the 5th time ? Thiago Alves and Rumbleweight Johnson are just SMH. In case you didn't know, SMH stands for "so many haters", I mean "shake my head", I mean "suck my horchata". Or something of that nature. All I know is, Lineker sucks at dieting worse than me. And that's pretty bad, cause I don't diet ever. I just drink beer a lot. Do Dagestani's drink beer ? Or vodka ? Probably borscht. Just lots of borscht. I guess that's enough to beat a fat Brazilian. Alia Balrogitonov by borscht.
Jamie Fucking Varner is back on PPV bitches. The pride of Arizona even though Arizona is the worst state ever. He's fighting a dude with the worst Suicide Girl-esque tattoos ever and I think he was even arrested for domestic violence. I hope this prick dies a million times. Can't wait for this fight. Yes, I am genuinely excited for a Varner fight. The Worm by not being a woman beater.
Preliminary stream of consciousness:
John "Lazy Eye" Makdessi fighting slow grapplers he can outstrike ? Sign me up all day. Dudes so fun to watch and tomorrow he's going to TKD the shit out of Alan Patrick. Cariaso vs Martinez aka beaner vs beaner aka I really want some rolled tacos. Nick Catone is still in the UFC ? Jesus. Kong Watson by better nickname. Al Iaquinta has a dumb looking last name. Kevin Lee is not related to Bruce Lee so he should change his name immediately. Jeez, so many terrible names on this card. Vanessa Hanson is amazing. And her name is just as amazing. Clint Hester had that sick standing elbow KO. Fuck yeah. Cheering for him forever. "Rashad Evans Magomofedoromevevomomov" by having a sweet ass name. Neil Magny has a rad name though. Gaston Umlautpierogifedormagomedov has a radder name though.
GET MASSIVE PEOPLE. IT'S SUPERBOWL WEEKEND.
Onward To Golgotha
Holy shit did Faber look like a savage in 2013. The mauling he put on Mayday still has me erect. Did the broken rib really hinder him in the first Barao fight ? Uhhh...yeah probably dude. Shit. If I had a broken rib I probably couldn't even eat rolled tacos. But he lasted 25 minutes against another savage. I'm hoping everything comes together for Faber and he can pull off the mammoth update by choking the crooked toothed gremlin Barao. Holy shit we're less then 24 hours from the fight. Oh yes. Faber by cornrows.
Lamas has no chance but he has a nice haircut. That won't save him against Aldoraptor though. Did you see him at the weigh ins ? Fuckin'...looked like a mini Brazilian Overeem n shit. That plays soccer. And has good cardio. So in otherwords, NOT a Brazilian Overeem. Whatever. I'm buzzed and craving rolled tacos because someone mentioned em. I think it was me. Anyways, Aldoraptor by headkick 1st round.
Oh speaking of Overeem, he's getting the most favorable match up possible. Who has a terrible chin ? Frank Mir. Who sucks at using steroids ? Frank Mir. Who has a terrible haircut ? Frank Mir. Actually you could include Overeem in all those questions too though...fuck. Frank Mir IS Overeem ? Overeem IS Frank Mir ? Mind = blown. FRANK MIR DEFEATS FRANK MIR...I MEAN OVEREEM DEFEATS OVEREEM BY....FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK WHO KNOWS EVERYONE IS EVERYONE WE ALL LOSE SHIT.
John Lineker almost missed weight for like the 5th time ? Thiago Alves and Rumbleweight Johnson are just SMH. In case you didn't know, SMH stands for "so many haters", I mean "shake my head", I mean "suck my horchata". Or something of that nature. All I know is, Lineker sucks at dieting worse than me. And that's pretty bad, cause I don't diet ever. I just drink beer a lot. Do Dagestani's drink beer ? Or vodka ? Probably borscht. Just lots of borscht. I guess that's enough to beat a fat Brazilian. Alia Balrogitonov by borscht.
Jamie Fucking Varner is back on PPV bitches. The pride of Arizona even though Arizona is the worst state ever. He's fighting a dude with the worst Suicide Girl-esque tattoos ever and I think he was even arrested for domestic violence. I hope this prick dies a million times. Can't wait for this fight. Yes, I am genuinely excited for a Varner fight. The Worm by not being a woman beater.
Preliminary stream of consciousness:
John "Lazy Eye" Makdessi fighting slow grapplers he can outstrike ? Sign me up all day. Dudes so fun to watch and tomorrow he's going to TKD the shit out of Alan Patrick. Cariaso vs Martinez aka beaner vs beaner aka I really want some rolled tacos. Nick Catone is still in the UFC ? Jesus. Kong Watson by better nickname. Al Iaquinta has a dumb looking last name. Kevin Lee is not related to Bruce Lee so he should change his name immediately. Jeez, so many terrible names on this card. Vanessa Hanson is amazing. And her name is just as amazing. Clint Hester had that sick standing elbow KO. Fuck yeah. Cheering for him forever. "Rashad Evans Magomofedoromevevomomov" by having a sweet ass name. Neil Magny has a rad name though. Gaston Umlautpierogifedormagomedov has a radder name though.
GET MASSIVE PEOPLE. IT'S SUPERBOWL WEEKEND.
