Alright you momos, I just ate a grilled cheese, I'm drinking Lagunitas Imperial Stout and listening to Joey Diaz. It's been like 5 years since the last UFC and I'm absolutely dying to do some picks. Remember that the prelims on Facebook start at 9:30 am (for the west coasters) and the main card starts at 12. Boom. Let's get fat you mooks.
Onward To Golgotha
Damn that was some good beer. Warming me up on this khold, rainy night. Murderface is back after the Athletic Commission suspended him for a year because he beat the living shit out of Vera and they needed to let everyone else catch up to his level of dominance. Gustaffson is a rad guy and he probably listened to At The Gates when he was younger (probably Slaughter Of The Soul, not the good shit) but he's going to get his chin molested by Murderface. (Even though I'm kinda expecting Gustaffson to win using his jab and range but who cares about strategy here). Oh man, Beneath The Remains/Escape To The Void (Live) just came on shuffle. Gustaffson is fucked. Thiago Silva by :
WALKING THESE DIRTY STREETS
WITH HATE IN MY MIND
FEELING THE SCORN OF THE WORLD
I WON'T FOLLOW YOUR RULES
BLAME AND LIES, CONTRADICTIONS ARISE
BLAME AND LIES, CONTRADICTIONS ARISE
aka Thiago by Max Cavalera Capoeira Headkick KO.
Alessio Sakara co-maining against Brian Stann ? YEAH THAT MAKES SENSE UFC. I guess they wanted a stand n bang battle. Heres to hoping Lasagna Boy knocks out Milquetoast Stann quickly so I can take a dump before the main event. Ricotta Boy by upset KO left hook counter.
I only know about Siyar The Killer from Bloodstain Lane videos, I've never actually seen him fight. And he's debuting against my favorite 170'er not named Nick Diaz so too bad jabroni. Paulo Cheeago better walk out to Krisiun or he's a BITCH. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9A4FQ7sbSA) That's not gonna be an issue though because he just sent me a text saying he was walking out to Conquerors of Armageddon. Paulo Thiago by anaconda choke in the 2nd round. BANK IT.
Diego Nunes looks like he could fight at 135...maybe ? I don't know. Denis Siver's chin is officially gone and I suspect that Nunes gets a highlight reel KO. I don't really care about Diego Nunes so whatever. Diego by listening to Krisiun maybe. I used to LOVE those guys in high school. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHkUNCuu7_w&feature=relmfu)
Damarques Johnson lost to Matt Riddle. John Maguire by whatever he wants.
Damacio Page better not lose cause he's awesome but Brad Pickett is 100% going to sub him. Lock of the night people. I'll be busy doing important things during this fight like uhh...drinking carrot juice or something. Whatever. Pickett by guillotine or maybe Damacio knocks him out. WHO KNOWS.
I'm gonna drink some more and then pass out early so I can wake up for the prelims. I hope you guys join me so we can discuss how terrible European fighters are. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Big dicks in your ass is bad for your health.
SEACREST OUT.
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