I woke up this
morning in a pretty spiteful mood and was planning on using this intro
to rant about flakes and a person that's really tested my patience the
last month or so but then I worked out, drank a good beer, had some
really good food and now I'm feeling better. That doesn't mean the Fury
And Flames (Hate Eternal reference for all you rubes) has left my
system, it's still there, but I'll keep it out of the picks because this
is no place for negativity unless it's directed at annoying fighters.
But you know, a Converge song might come on shuffle and it'll set me off
and shit will get hostile really goddamn quick in here. Enough
pussyfooting around, time to get kneed in the dick a bunch of times.
So Cain getting a title shot after elbowing Bigfoot Silva once in the forehead region is complete garbage and shows how much chorizo Dana shoves up his own ass on a daily basis. I could see if Cain lost a split decision then you could give him a rematch this soon but goddamnit you fuckers, he gets knocked out brutally by the champ in one MINUTE, beats a slow guy, and then gets a rematch ? Fuck off. What really pisses me off is all the taco-wagon Cain fans that booed Dos Santos at the weigh-ins. All you posers can get arrested in Arizona for smelling like refried beans. NO ONE boos Dos Santos. He's the raddest Brazilian ever not named Pregnant Adriana Lima and you will show him the proper respect. What I'm trying to say is, Cain has no chance and he'll get knocked out brutally with a left hook, ONE SHOT ONE KILL, and I'll be blowing up Facebook with lots of exclamation points. Dos Santos by Immigrant Hating KO 1st round.
*does a shot of Glenlivet*
Did you guys watch the Vlog with Creepy Joe tapping out Nick The Tooth like 20 times in three minutes ? Holy awesome. For some reason I've never been a huge J-Lau fan but after that video and falling in love with his Massachusetts accent I will be cheering for him the rest of his career. Besides, Jim Miller never excited me. Kinda surprised everyone thinks Jim Miller is just going to steamroll J-Lau and not even pay for dinner. Get the fuck outta here guys. Miller is done being a contender. He'll probably drop to 145 after J-Lau wins by decision probably cause I can't really see him finishing Miller. This will be a badical fight though, can't wait.
Zorbas Filipoo is Greek and trains with Ray Longo. That means he's going to be the champ at 185 pounds forever and Matt Serra will be the Pastaweight champ of the Universe. Tim Borscht trains with boring Midwest white folk and is going to get knocked out. Hey, I was going nuts for Borscht when he Godzilla Smashed the shit out of Okami but I won't be cheering for him this time because Ray Longo is the best dude ever and you don't mess with the Matt Serra Pasta Team. Costa is gonna stuff those takedowns, not get Redneck Judo'd and will be throwing left hooks for 15 minutes. Costa by semi-shocking upset decision.
Alan Belcher tore up my boy Paul Harris but that's cool, I don't hate him anymore. Okami on the other hand should just stick to rolling really terrible California rolls and serving up teriyaki chicken bowls for all the gaijins. Don't let Joe Rogan fool you, Okami is not going to be able to smother Belcher, but he WILL get his flat face smashed the shit in with beautiful headkicks and elbows in the clinch. Y'all ready know where this ones going. Belcher by extra manly TKO 2nd round.
Eddie Wineland vs Brad Pickett shoulda been on the main card instead of Leben vs Dirk Bronson or whatever his name is. Total bullshit. I can't even come up with something badical to say about this fight because their actions will speak louder than words. Who's going to win ? Shit if I know. Pickett ? Maybe. Wineland ? Maybe. This is going to be FOTN guaranteed though. Can't pick a winner though, SORRY. Uhhh...Brittney Palmer by cameltoe clutch 1st round.
Chris Leben is back and whatever. He's fighting some chump that got knocked out by Jacare. Leben by KO. Come on people.
I could do the prelims but ya know, I have stuff to do. Like drink more and get angry. See you momos tomorrow night !
So Cain getting a title shot after elbowing Bigfoot Silva once in the forehead region is complete garbage and shows how much chorizo Dana shoves up his own ass on a daily basis. I could see if Cain lost a split decision then you could give him a rematch this soon but goddamnit you fuckers, he gets knocked out brutally by the champ in one MINUTE, beats a slow guy, and then gets a rematch ? Fuck off. What really pisses me off is all the taco-wagon Cain fans that booed Dos Santos at the weigh-ins. All you posers can get arrested in Arizona for smelling like refried beans. NO ONE boos Dos Santos. He's the raddest Brazilian ever not named Pregnant Adriana Lima and you will show him the proper respect. What I'm trying to say is, Cain has no chance and he'll get knocked out brutally with a left hook, ONE SHOT ONE KILL, and I'll be blowing up Facebook with lots of exclamation points. Dos Santos by Immigrant Hating KO 1st round.
*does a shot of Glenlivet*
Did you guys watch the Vlog with Creepy Joe tapping out Nick The Tooth like 20 times in three minutes ? Holy awesome. For some reason I've never been a huge J-Lau fan but after that video and falling in love with his Massachusetts accent I will be cheering for him the rest of his career. Besides, Jim Miller never excited me. Kinda surprised everyone thinks Jim Miller is just going to steamroll J-Lau and not even pay for dinner. Get the fuck outta here guys. Miller is done being a contender. He'll probably drop to 145 after J-Lau wins by decision probably cause I can't really see him finishing Miller. This will be a badical fight though, can't wait.
Zorbas Filipoo is Greek and trains with Ray Longo. That means he's going to be the champ at 185 pounds forever and Matt Serra will be the Pastaweight champ of the Universe. Tim Borscht trains with boring Midwest white folk and is going to get knocked out. Hey, I was going nuts for Borscht when he Godzilla Smashed the shit out of Okami but I won't be cheering for him this time because Ray Longo is the best dude ever and you don't mess with the Matt Serra Pasta Team. Costa is gonna stuff those takedowns, not get Redneck Judo'd and will be throwing left hooks for 15 minutes. Costa by semi-shocking upset decision.
Alan Belcher tore up my boy Paul Harris but that's cool, I don't hate him anymore. Okami on the other hand should just stick to rolling really terrible California rolls and serving up teriyaki chicken bowls for all the gaijins. Don't let Joe Rogan fool you, Okami is not going to be able to smother Belcher, but he WILL get his flat face smashed the shit in with beautiful headkicks and elbows in the clinch. Y'all ready know where this ones going. Belcher by extra manly TKO 2nd round.
Eddie Wineland vs Brad Pickett shoulda been on the main card instead of Leben vs Dirk Bronson or whatever his name is. Total bullshit. I can't even come up with something badical to say about this fight because their actions will speak louder than words. Who's going to win ? Shit if I know. Pickett ? Maybe. Wineland ? Maybe. This is going to be FOTN guaranteed though. Can't pick a winner though, SORRY. Uhhh...Brittney Palmer by cameltoe clutch 1st round.
Chris Leben is back and whatever. He's fighting some chump that got knocked out by Jacare. Leben by KO. Come on people.
I could do the prelims but ya know, I have stuff to do. Like drink more and get angry. See you momos tomorrow night !
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