I'm on my game tonight you harlots. Watching the Pride 2006 Open Weight
GP, listening to Indian, eating hot cheetos, feelin' pretty good even
though this head cold is trying to take the fun out of the weekend. You
strumpets better be pumped up for an amazing free card that's stacked
from top to bottom. I'll also be pretty drunk by 5pm so shits getting
rowdy in the discussion zone.
Onward To Golgotha
Dear
lord Ben Henderson has some amazing legs. I mean...err...he
has...awesome legs ?...ummm...they're nice to look at ?...shit. I HOPE
TO HAVE LEGS LIKE HIM. Wait that sounds even worse. Damnit. Anyways,
Benderson is turning into the Blasian GSP at this rate. Don't see anyone
beating him unless Michael Chandler moves over from Bellator and KO's
him. That's my dream fight in about 2 more years, let Chandler get some
more experience before he moves over. Ugh this headache is killing me.
So do you guys think Melendez has a chance at beating Benderson ? Cause
I'm not seeing it. Yeah, Benderson's striking is turbo overrated,
especially that stupid triple jab he throws that does nothing, but his
half-blacksplosiveness should allow him to leg kick Melendez for 25
minutes. If Melendez didn't look so crappy against Thomson in their
third fight (I really thought Thomson won that fight) then I'd feel a
bit more confident about his chances against Benderson but it's not
happening. Sorry El Nino. Be happy that you have a beautiful family and
you live in San Francisco. Bendersonson by decision.
Really
wish Frank Mir would shut up forever but theres no chance of that
happening soon. Goddamnit. At least Cormier will shut him up for about 5
more months. Mir DID look pretty stacked at the weigh ins but that
doesn't translate to applicable athleticism* in the fight. He usually
gets clinched against the cage and punched in the face a bunch of times
before his curly hair starts flying over the place and the ref stops the
fight. Does Mir think he's going to run at Cormier and land a flying
gogoplata on Cormier ? Daniel has no neck, how the fucks he going to
choke him out ? Is Mir going to test his strength like Hulk Hogan does
and then say "not so fast bitch" and drop for a heel hook ? Fuck outta
here guy. Cormier is lighting his ass up with cajun-seasoning on the
ends of his fists. Cormier by first round KO.
WAR
STOCKTON WAR NORCAL WAR 209 WAR DIAZ BROTHERS FOREVER WAR DON'T BE
SCARED HOMIE. But Nate looked so drawn out at the weigh-ins and Josh
Thomson looked like the hottest male model ever. I mean...he's
handsome...yeah. YEAH JOSH THOMSON IS HANDSOME SO WHAT ? WANNA FIGHT
ABOUT IT DAWG ? I'm feeling an upset here to be honest. Nate's my boy
but I think Thomson uses some angles and lots of leg kicks to fuck with
Diaz's plan of getting in close and throwing 500 body shots. Or Josh
gets dumb and decides to brawl and ends up getting dropped/subbed right
after. Anythings possible son. Am I really picking against a Diaz
brother though ? NOPE. NATE DIAZ BY HEADKICK KO FIRST SECOND OF ROUND ONE.
Matt
Brown is getting royally starched in this fight. Just...man I feel bad
for the guy. Jordan Mein is a savage and it's going to be ugly. Mein by bloody elbows/broken orbitals first round.
Kinda
can't stand Darren Elkins but I really can't stand Chad Mendes. Must be
because he trains at Team Napoleon Complex. Sadly for Darren he has no
chance in this fight unless Mendes breaks his hand(s) in the first round
and can't defend against Elkins game plan of grinding and throwing baby
punches from guard. That's probably not happening though so Mendes by TKO 1st round. Excited for this fight though, Mendes IS fun to watch...usually.
Holy
shit Francis Carmont is terrible but he has an awesome french villians
voice. Thankfully Lorenzo Larkin is a monster and he's going to tornado
kick the living shit out of Carmont. DA MONSOON by tornado kick tsunami. If Carmont even THINKS about trying to Randy Couture his way to a win he can die forever.
Ramsey
Nijem's face pisses me off. Myles Jury beat up Michael Johnson for 15
minutes. Anyone that beats up Michael Johnson and also has disdain for
dumb looking faces is fine by me. Myles Jury by something. I don't know. My head hurts.
Damnit
Benavidez. Please beat Mighty Mouse. I'm tired of you beating everyone
else at flyweight. It's bumming me out man. Darren Uyenoyoyoymamamama
upsetting you would be pretty rad though. Too bad it's not happening.
Benavidez is a handsome stud and has dual nipple piercings. That's
pretty much an unstoppable combination. Benavidez by nipple piercings.
Jorge
Masvidal has such a southern Florida beard. Jeez. Way too lined up for
me. But he seems like a totally rad dude that would steal your buffalo
wings if you went to the bathroom for a couple minutes. Tim Means looks
like someone that would use ranch dressing instead of blue cheese and
then he'd make a derogatory comment about the girl you're interested in.
NOT COOL. Jorge Masvidal by being a good wingman. Pun intended.
Oh
TJ Dillashaw. Of all the faces in the world I hate, yours is number
one. If Brock Lesnar was 5'2" and had a Napoleon complex he would be TJ
Dillpickles. I don't know who Hugo Viana is but he looks like that Omar
Rodriguez Lopez Asilomar Margarita Tijuana Telemundo Frijoles guy from
that one band....The Mars Voltron. I can't stand their vocalist but
everyone else in that band is a savage. I'm going with the Mars Voltron looking guy.
Never cheering against The Nigerian Gangster. Never. Hoger Bowling looks like a really bad Ultimate Warrior impersonator. War Nigerian Gangster by first round Leko Buster.
Clifford
"The Legendary Ghostdini" Starks is wining because the latest Ghostface
Killa album is ridiculously good. Probably my top 5 album of 2013 so
far. Tremendous. War GFK.
Oh wow that was a lot of typing. Time for more cranberry juice and sleep. See you bitches tomorrow.
*That sounded really dumb. Sorry about that guys.
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