Oh shit it's already Friday ? Dude, rad. I'm already pretty hopped up on Sierra Nevada Hoptimum and just trying to figure out which beer to introduce myself to next. What do you guys think ? I could open up the Alesmith Yulesmith, it's only a week old. Decisions...
Onward To Golgotha
It
was only two weeks ago when my heart was crushed by Junior Dos Santos'
Lekobuster but I've recovered and am back in the swing of things. And
surprising enough, this Fuel card is actually decent and should bring
back that unbridled enthusiasm I'm used to giving y'all. Ok that's enough crap. Time to get down to brass tacks.
You
shouldn't even be reading this if you haven't seen the first fight
between Nog and Werdum. Well I guess you can if you're bored on a friday
night like me, but still. That fight showed how much of a stud Old Man
Nog was back in the day and how much Werdum has improved since then. And
it also showed how much the UFC needs Lenne Hardt, because Bruce Buffer
does not do Nog's entrance justice. I just wish Old Man Nog was still a
stud, cause I foresee my heart also being crushed tomorrow night. Well
not really, I was never a diehard Nog fan but seeing him lose to Mir
twice and getting MurderDeathKill'd by Velasquez took the fun out of it.
Werdum might not MDK Nog but he sure as shit can TKO him. And it's
probably happening tomorrow night. Theres no way this fight goes the
full 5 rounds. INCONCEIVABLE. Is Nog fast enough to outbox Werdum ? Dude
I don't know. I kinda doubt it though. Shit. I'd also be kinda shocked
if it goes to the ground at all. Who are you guys picking ? Oh fuck it. PRIDE NEVER DIE. BIG NOG BY KIMURA ALL FUCKING DAY BOZOS.
Thiago
Silva is the scariest looking dude not named Wallid Ismael to ever
live. He hasn't won a fight in four (4) years so the scariness is slowly
slipping away. But like if you were at a bar and you sorta almost cut
in front of him to grab the last Stone Brewing Espresso Russian Imperial Stout
on cask you might just run the fuck away and leave your girlfriend to
fend for herself. I wouldn't run though cause I'm a bad dude also and
would protect my girlfriend even if it meant getting a concussion and
possibly banned from the bar, but ya know, whatever. Man stuff. Rafael
Feijao is also a man, a man that knocks out fuckos with his man hands n
shit. He ain't scared. He don't get turnt up. Well actually he probably
does, but no ones going to stop him. So all that leaves us with is, who
the shit is scary enough to win tomorrow night ? I gotta go with Feijao
on this one. Yeah he doesn't pass his drug tests but this is 2013 bro,
shit happens. Drugs happen. Whatever. That's what happens when you get
turnt up sometimes. Who cares. Feijao by Lekobuster because why not.
Daniel
Sarafian is one scary looking beef castle. He's 5'9" and built like a
brick shithouse. Eddie Mendez looks like the wimpiest carrot that ever
came from Brazil. Using a highly structured method of picking fights
I've reached the conclusion that Brick Shithouse beats Wimpy Carrot 100%
of the time. War Brazilian Brick Shithouse.
Jason High
loves The Wire. Erick Silva is really handsome. Damnit. Who do I pick ?
This is too difficult right now. But logic dictates that Erick Silva is
such a handsome savage and he usually destroys wrestlers anyways with
his handsomeness that Jason High doesn't stand a chance. Sorry dude, but
Omar comin' yo. Erick Silva by Lekobuster because this is Brazil. You don't make the rules.
The other 8 fights suck so bad that I'm just going to stream of consciousness it up. Prepare your buttholes people:
Didn't
Leo Santos get kicked in the balls really badly in Japan a couple years
ago ? That's my only vague memory of him. The guy he's fighting looks
like an even more obnoxious Kevin Randleman. War Leo Santos' balls. Rony Jason looks like a super asshole but Mike Wilkinson's face is begging to be smashed in with elbows. War Super Asshole.
Raphael Assuncao shouldn't be on the prelims fighting an unranked
fighter. Total bullshit. Assuncao by whatever he wants, when he wants,
because he's FUCKING Raphael Assncow. Rodrigo Damm looks like Bishop from Aliens. He's fighting a Japanese guy. War Japan. Two guys with names I can't even type are fighting, so they don't count as humans. Caio Magalhaes is a creepy looking guy and Karlos Vemola has a crooked eye. War Crooked Eye ? Anthony Smith's face pisses me way off. Antonio Braga Neto is supposed to be good so I guess I'll pick him. Whatever. I just can't wait to go to the bar tomorrow night. PEACE.
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