Oh hey what's up dudes. How you doin ? Man, I'm just watching
Bellator, enjoying this beer, and figuring out what to get for dinner.
Maybe sushi, or curry, or a burrito, or a hamburger, or pizza, or more
beer, who knows. Ya know ? You never know what I'm going to eat.
Anyways, I need to hurry up and bang these picks out.
Onward To Golgotha
This
is hard to say but I'm missing the entire card tomorrow night. GASP.
Yep, but theres an epic beer event and I'm not missing it for the world.
Well if Mark Hunt was fighting for the belt I'd skip it but that's not
happening so yeah. Of course I'll be checking Twitter for updates so I
won't be totally left out.
Hahahah you guys really
think I'm picking Dos Santos this time ? Fuck no. Fuck him. Anyone that
wheel kick KO's Mark Hunt is a giant piece of shit and deserves to lose
every fight forever. "But Anthony, isn't that being a tad irrational ?"
fucking maybe. Think I give a shit though ? Nope. Just because of that
I'm picking Cain out of spite, even though I secretly want Two Santos to
win...whatever. My hypocrisy knows no bounds. War Doc Holliday. Ok enough farting around. Hows it going down ? Well Cain
is going to be fueled by some barrel aged bean and cheese burritos,
he's going to headkick Arianny in the head with a kick to the head, then
sing the Mexico national anthem with Vicente Fernandez (the beaner with
the grey hair and big sombrero, AKA all mexicans), and steamroll Dos
Santos with that signature mexican work ethic. TKO 2nd round ? 3rd
round ? 4th round ? Maybe a one punch KO. Who knows. I won't, cause I'm
gonna be drinking tasty beers and making obnoxious jokes. BOOM. Cain by Bean Power.
Roy
Nelson is fat and keeps talking about losing weight but he never does,
just like me. Cormier actually lost some weight and is looking a lot
better, he might actually finish Roy Nelson. Do I care ? Not really. Say
he wins and then fights Jones, are you REALLY going to pick him to beat
Jones ? Get outta here guy. Black Fedor should stick to KO'ing fat
fucks at heavyweight but that's his decision and I'm too busy dreaming
of surf n turf burritos to give a crap. Fedor Emelianegro by TKO 1st round.
Gilbert Melendez is going to fucking destroy Diego Sanchez. Maybe
in the 1st minute, maybe in 15 minutes. I don't know but it will be
fucking violent and I'm actually bummed I'll be missing this fight.
Dudes, have you SEEN how beautiful Gilbert Melendez's family is ? I am
so envious of all the incredible genetics in that family. I want that.
Gilbert by death.
Gabriel Gonzaga's mustache is
absolutely incredible and will bring him to victory when he flying
gogoplatas Shawn "Bland White Guy" Jordan. Yeah, I have no interest in
this fight clearly.
John Dodson is absolutely
insufferable but he sure is fun as hell to watch when he's on his game.
Darrel Montague fought in TPF (Taco Palace Fights) and I'll always hold a
place in my heart for their terrible choppy streams on Sherdog but he's
getting smoked in this match. Poor kid. Dodson by whatever I'm not watching this fight.
Ohh yesss preliminary stream of consciousness:
Tim Borscht is going to Redneck Judo the shit off of CB Doucheways douchebag face so hard the entire arena will get douchechills. Oh yes. Hector Lombard looked like dogshit at 170 and will still somehow win a boring fight against Nate "Original Doucheface" Marquardt. Whatever.
Jessica Eye has a name that attracts me but I haven't looked at the
weigh-in pics to confirm being attracted to her. Sarah Kaufman bores me
to death. War potentially attractive Jessica Eye. George
Badapopolous has looked terrible for a few years now and I can't believe
he's signed to the UFC. Too bad this'll be his last fight because KJ Noons is going to knock his old New Zealand face off his
old New Zealand head. Adlan Amagov looks like the crazy Euro dude you
want in your posse to fuck shit up when shit goes down at the pub. TJ
Whataburger does not. War Crazy Euro Posse Dude. Tony Ferguson is going to fuck up the guy he's fighting, whatever his name is. Andre Phyllo Dough missed weight. Loser. Jeremy Larsen didn't, whoever the fuck he is. Never heard of Kyoji Horiguchi but he's Japanese so he's going to win because duh.
That's enough. Time for dinner with good people. Peace bitches.
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