My Picks For UFC 180: ATOMIC BUTTDROPU MAHHHKUUUU HUNTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO vs Verdumb

24 hours away from the most important moment in my life. I'm sure having a baby would be more important, or like, getting my order right from Roberto's, but as of right now this is easily the most important event to happen in my lifetime. I should probably be drunk for these picks. Anyways...

Onward To Golgotha

Last year when Hunto was walking out to fight Dos Santos was easily the most anxious I've ever been in my life. Coupled with the fact that Ken Mode was in town (awesome) and I was planning to propose to a Guamanian (big mistake) right after the fights made it even more stressful. Then the fight starts. And then Hunt broke his toe. And then Two Santa's dropped him with a giant overhand right. Oh. Why is Hunto falling down ? Oh. Dos Santos killed him with a fucking Lekobuster. Welp, my heart kinda disintegrated after that. And my dreams of watching The Oceania Super Fighter get a title shot disappeared. Forever.

Fast forward to October 2014 while I'm grilling outside and I check twitter and find out that Cain is injured. And now Hunt is fighting. For the belt. In Mexico. In three weeks. Fuck. I started jumping up and down, tore my ACL and MCL in the process, but I didn't care. And still don't care. My hero is fighting for the belt. Holy FUCK my hero is fighting for the belt. Annnnnnd he's fighting Werdum. Probably the worst stylistic match up possible. Shit. Werdum is tall, uses his long legs to keep his range, doesn't give a shit about your strategy, and if he takes it to the ground it's over immediately. Yeah, Hunt survived from a gassed Stefan Strudel but he couldn't choke out a dead quadriplegic in the Bermuda Triangle. Ok, Hunt survived Bigfoot being on top of him. Sure, Roy Nelson had Hunt's back for like...a second. Werdum could armbar all 3 of those dweebs at once. Fuck. Well, the one thing Hunt does it knock motherfuckers out. Left hook, short uppercuts, Atomic Buttdrops, he'll find a way to knock you out. And if he does, if Mark FUCKING Hunt knocks out Werdum and wins the belt...wow. I don't know how I'll react. Pretty sure I'll flip over every table that ever existed, punch the closest Guamanian around, bench my weight in spam musubi, bleach my beard, just...fuck. This fight is everything to me.

MAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK HUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO by walk off KO and then retirement. 

Oh, there's other fights this weekend ? Don't care. Oh there's rad fights AFTER this weekend ? Don't care. THIS is the only one that matters. You better believe I'm going to be a wreck in the Discussion Zone tomorrow night. I hope you mutherfukers are there with me.