My goodness, tomorrow night is going to have the most good looking
main event of all time. My body is not ready. Or maybe it is ? Yeah it
definitely is. I won't waste any more time with this intro cause holy
shit it's going to take forever to do all these picks. Let's get at it.
Onward To Golgotha
This
fight is an absolute bitch to guess who's going to win. If Shogun could
inject TRT in his knees then it'd be a whole lot easier to pick him by
Psycho Crusher in the 1st round but he looked like dog shit in the
Brenda Vera Wang fight and that inspires zero confidence he won't die
from an asthma attack somewhere in the 25 minutes of Sonnen's violent
hugging attack. On the other hand, Sonnen hasn't won at 205 in an
eternity and he always chokes in these situations, kinda like how I
choke at taco shops ordering wimpy bean and cheese burritos instead of
50 pounds of carne asada fries. What I'm trying to say is, I hope no one
gets hurt because Sonnen has a Top 3 smile of all time and Shogun is
right up there too. In conclusion, Sonnen by impossibly boring 25 minutes of limp wristed ground and pound resulting in a TKO (!) win, somewhere in the 4th round. This won't be pretty folks, not as pretty as Sonnen.
Did
you guys see Travis Browne's beard ? Did you see the interview with
Karyn Bryant where he said he has nightmares about losing his beard ?
Homie is all ABOUT that beard life. I'm pretty proud of him. Plus we
have that Hapa bond. And then Overeem. Goddamnit. I'm still laughing
when Antonio "Giant Sloth" Silva knocked him out so badly that Fujita's
skull started ejaculating dehydrated coconut chunks automatically. Has
Reem even been cleared to fight again ? He probably thinks he has a
fight with a horse meat buffet, not against a giant Hawaiian with a
sweet beard. Yeah, I sound a bit salty but Overeem had all this hype and
then acted like a nerd at a machismo convention and got schooled. So
with that in mind, WAR HAWAIIAN BEARD ALL DAY. ALL THE MAHALOS. TRAVIS BROWNE BY SUPERFLY SPLASH.
Speaking
of handsome, how bout Urijah Faber ? Yeah that buttchin is a bit
intense but I wish I had his hair. Or any hair at this point. There's
really no point in discussing Yuri Alcantara because this isn't a title
shot so Faber wins by default. Poor kid never had a chance. Buttchinius Maximus is going to grapple-fuck the hell out of Alcantara and wrangle a tasty RNC in the 2nd round.
Can't
believe I'm a Matt Brown fan in 2013. This year continues to blow my
mind. What's even crazier is seeing him on a six (6) fight winning
streak after he collapses Mike Pyle with midwest elbows of death. Fuck
outta here if you're of the mindset that Pyle is going to submit Matt
Brown. Nope. Not in 2013. If this was 2011 you can bet your ass this
pick would say "Mullet Pyle by guillotine in the first second because
Matt Brown has zero sub defense ever" but things change. People change.
Matt Brown changed. I changed. The Immortal by mullet severing elbows 1st round, FOTN.
The
last memory I have of Doomsday Howard is his forehead exploding like a
puff pastry after Jake Ellenberger committed atrocities to it. I'm
thinking tomorrow night might be the same unless Uriah Hall just got his
black belt in Asperger's and repeats the same bullshit he pulled when
he fought that small mexican guy, whatever his name was. Of course
Doomsday is like twenty inches shorter than Hall and probably won't
reach his chin, but you never know. I'm hoping for ultra violence,
that's all. Doomsday by upset KO because I fucking love upsets, as much as carne asada fries.
Opening the main card is Creepy Joe vs a Blackzillian. Welp, that's all there is to it. J-Lau by sub 1st round,
probably an armbar. Oh you really think Michael Johnson dramatically
upped his cardio and sub defense in one training camp ? Get real. He was
probably busy drawing portraits of Overeem and Spong's biceps. That's
what I'd be doing anyways.
It's time to wrap this up, except it might take longer then expected because the prelims are actually really damn good. Prelim Stream of consciousness time:
Holy
hell Mayday vs Pickett is going to be savagery. Pickett has a chin but
Mayday could crack it open with an uppercut. The Wineland fight makes me
hesitant to pick Pickett here, unless he can take it to the ground.
Ugh. Gotta go with Mayday though, probably by decision. Already
sick of this ignorant Irish pride that Dana's been shoving up our asses.
Yeah, McGregor looked awesome in his debut and I'll be cheering for him
but goddamn, calm down. He's only had ONE fight in the UFC. Stop hyping
him up like he's going to resurrect Phil Lynott and schedule a Thin Lizzy reunion tour that starts and ends in San Diego with support from Uli Jon Roth era Scorpions. Still picking Hooligan Fuckhead by 2nd round TKO but just relax until he gets more wins. This Trappistes Rochefort 10 is starting to hit me pretty good, as hard as Mike Brown is going to overhand right Steven Siler's stupid face. Really hope MTB
looks like his younger self tomorrow night and puts on a clinic but
he's been slowing down in his last few fights. Still picking him by decision though. Diego Brandao by murder 1st round.
Oh man I hate everyone in this next fight. Can't stand Armenians in
general, and Nicole Millers face pisses me off forever. Soooo...wow this beer is so good.
OSP has the worst initials ever and he's an even worse fighter. Hope
that white guy he's fighting smashes him up. James "Michael" Vick by
dogfighting doctor stoppage because I'm exhausted from writing.
Hope to see you all in the Discussion Zone tomorrow night ! Peace.
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