What's up you fuckin' momos. I'm channeling my inner Joey Karate today so shave your balls because no one else is going to do it. I was on hiatus in Arizona drinking crazy water with Pocahontas and shit but I'm back and ready for some fights. Check yourself before you wreck yourself fuckos. Big dicks in your ass is bad for your health.
Stay Black.
You know I love this main event you mooks. My boys from Stockton, the crazy Diaz brothers (I think we're cousins or some shit on my moms side of the family) and those neanderthal Jersey boys the Miller brothers. Both of these guys are tough as fuckin' nails man, let me tell you. Nate and Nick don't give a fuck, they represent that Gracie Jiu Jitsu and they'll go to da death for 'em. You see them walking around Stockton and they just start jackin' fools up. Those guys are animals. But then you got the Miller brothers and I've seen them deadlift a White Castle in Jersey and eat all the fuckin' sliders. Afterwards we all went to Badabing and hung out with Big Pussy Bonpensiero and killed some strippers but that's for another time. So Diaz has the boxing and the jiu jitsu but Miller has the wrestling and he will grind you out. In the end I gotta go with my man Nate Diaz by 4th round rubber guard-crackhead control-omoplata-whatever the fuck. We're all smokin' some of that Jersey dirt weed in the back with Arianny and Brittney afterwards and eatin' their monkeys. Go fuck yourself.
In the co-main event you've got that goofy afro monkey lookin' bastard Joey Clownshoes and the bearded bozo that knocked out Jon Fitch. The fucks his name ? Jimi Hendrix or someshit. Whatever. I've been a Koscheck fan for a long time when he knocked out that little jap and climbed the cage like an orangutan but he hasn't looked the same since GSP skullfucked his eye. One time I was with this girl in Arizona and we were goin' at it and then she elbows me right in the fuckin' eye. Dawg, I couldn't see what hole I was in but I just kept goin'. Kos pussied out and he hasn't been the same since. Jimi Hendrix has been knockin' fools out like they stole his turkey or whatever the fuck they eat in Oklahoma. I'm goin' with Johny Hendricks by 1st round knockout cocksucka.
Next up we have my personal pick for Fight Of The Night. Alan Belcher vs that caveman brazilian Whosimar Paul Stanley, Paul Harris, whatever the fuck his name is. That motherfucker Alan Belcher doesn't give a fuck dawg, did you see when he Tombstone Piledrived Patrick Cooty ? I jumped up so fast I spilled the vaporizer. But then you got that chimpanzee lookin' dude Paul Stanley and that dudes an animal. Did you see that fight with Dan Miller and he headkicked him and then jumped on the cage before the ref stopped the fight ? He's got a few screws loose in his head, but I know how that is, one time I had some peyote in Colorado and fell of the mountain but you work through that shit. This is a tough fight to pick but I'm goin' with Ronda Paul Gilbert by heelhook in the second round fucko.
And in the opening fight we got two big boys, Halle Barry vs that cholo Lavar Johnson. I've seen Pat Barry knockout an elephant in San Diego when me and Bravo were smokin' some Carne Asada Fries Kush with Swole Peer, that dude doesn't give a FUCK. But that skinhead Lavar Johnson doesn't give a fuck either dawg, he's like those dudes in Training Day that fucked up the white dude. And that's how its gonna be when they fight. Lavar Johnson is gonna put those bricks on Barry's chin and it'll be night-night for Halle. Don Johnson by first round knockout. Lock of the night people.
I ran out of time for the prelims, I got sidetracked because I gotta pass a piss test but I'll be back for the fights and we can chop it up then. Stay black fuckos.
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