Hey what's up dudes. Anyone drunk yet ? I'm not but I'm getting there.
Chugging this Stone Russian Imperial Stout right now on an empty
stomach, by the time I get to the prelims I'll have faceplanted on my
keyboard at least 187 times. That's my goal anyways. Oh, how was your
4th of July ? Mine was alright, ate 3 different desserts so that's a
good start. Pretty sure I have ALL the types of diabetes right now. So
worth it. Anyways...
Onward To Golgotha
PLEASE shut the
fuck up about Chris Weidman already. Please. I am so sick of you ginzo
wop fucks trying to convince a Tony Soprano-less universe that Chris
Weidman has a chance. GET. REAL. I love gabagool as much as anyone else
but don't give me this shit that because "he believes in himself" that
he'll win. Really guy ? If that shit worked then I'd already be married
to Camilla Belle, we'd have a welsh corgi farm, and our own restaurant
called Swole's that would serve only the best flautas and craft beer in
San Diego but that never happened. So don't tell me that Chris Weidman
is going to submit (!!!) or TKO (!!!!!!) Anderson Silva just because he
has faith in his abilities. He only had ONE good win and it was against a
fat Mark Munoz that had a really bad haircut and an injured knee. Oh,
he beat Alessio Suckara and Tom Lawlor ? That gives you hope he'll be
the one to not only beat Anderson Silva, but FINISH him ?! Oh my god
dude. I fucking hate all of you. Shit, I forgot I have to make a pick. Anderson Silva by whacking him like ''Big Pussy'' Bonspensiero and throwing him off the boat.
There's
nothing to discuss regarding the Frankie Edgar vs Aloe Vera fight. Come
on man. Biggest squash match of the year. Just disgusting matchmaking
by Joe Silva. Yeah, Edgar hasn't won in his last 3 fights but to get
another highlight reel moment like this is just pathetic. I would love
nothing more than Aloe Vera to shock the world and submit or flying knee
Edgar into a living death but that's...no. Not happening. Ugh. Total
bullshit. Edgar by whatever he wants.
If Tim Kennedy would
shut his whore mouth and stop trying to be controversial or zany or
acting like some militant alpha male (which he is none of the above) I
might actually pay attention when he fights, but he never gets the memo.
And because of that I hope Hoger Gracie chokes his jabroni head clean
off. I hope Hoger walks out to the most Islamic Pro-Allah song ever and
burns the American flag in the cage. What's Kennedy gonna do ? Run to
his phone and post an angry tweet ? Die. Hoger by hating the United States Of America.
Yeah,
Mark Munoz losing 75 pounds for this fight is impressive and yeah ya
know, dealing with depression sucks, I know all about that but
like...who cares. He really thinks he'll be "in the mix" after beating
Borscht ? Wow. He might have skipped depression and just went full
schizophrenic. Poor guy. He DID look really damn good at the weigh-ins
though, pretty motivating for a fat sumo fuck like me. Too bad Borscht is gonna KO him with redneck uppercuts of death in the 1st round.
Mr.
So Cal vs Panzer Division Siver is gonna be fight of the night. It
might actually only last one round but it'll be the craziest three
minutes of face punching ever. Uh oh, I'm buzzed. I'm just
honestly surprised that so many people are picking Panzer Division Siver
to win. He drops to featherweight and beats two guys by decision while
Mr. So Cal's been killing everybody with brutal KO's. I uhh...yeah I
don't get that line of thinking. Buncha Nazi lovers, you sick fucks. Cub Swanson by Nazibuster 1st round. Deal with it haters.
Time for my favorite part of the night, prelims stream of consciousness rambling:
Chris
Leben lives in San Diego now but I haven't seen him yet. Maybe we'll
catch up at L&L soon. (That's a Hawaiian restaurant for all you
uneducated weenies out there). WAR Leben all day. Andrew Craig
looks like a fat Urijah Faber. Who the fuck is Norman Parke ? Who the
fuck is Kazuhisa Takanori ? Losers. Dave Herman sucks a bag. Gabriel
Gonzaga sucks an even bigger back. But who will suck just enough to win ?
Probably Gonzaga. I don't know, this fight will probably suck a bunch of suck. Edson Barboza by Lekobuster because the guy he's fighting has a crappy beard. Seth Backnezinskkykykyyyy is ok. The guy he's fighting probably sucks. Guess Seth wins. Mike Pierce by either supremely boring decision or brutal finish. Who knows. I don't know, I'm too drunk to make a pick.
Anyways, enjoi your Friday night. I'm gonna have more beer. I love you all.
-SwolePeer
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